The most underrated love language in America

I can not stress enough the body’s need for sleep when pursuing all things good in life. It is true enough that the body can go on nearly to no sleep for very, very, very long periods. I know this. I have been a horse trainer for over 30 years. Anyone who has shown high-strung “prey” animals who only require 4 hours of sleep a day and can do 2 standing on their feet understands that sleep will be scarce during high competition. I pushed my body by sheer force of will to perform under extreme fatigue more times than I care to admit. (Sooo unloving of me).

But when I got sick, I found out what being unable to sleep was like. I have
had insomnia countless times throughout my career. It would pass with some
melatonin & l-ornithine without too much drama. But this, this was next-level awful. I would be exhausted, lay down, fall asleep for about 20 minutes, wake up for 1-2 hours, then fall asleep again for another 20ish minutes, and repeat. Allllll night long! In bed for 10 hours I would sleep only for 1-2 of them. It was torture! And continued for months on end. I tried all the usual natural sleep helpers and over-the-counter sleep enhancers, but nothing touched this. Needless to say, I got an in-depth look at what not sleeping does to humans because this stretched on and on for months.

The toll on the body will seep into nearly every aspect of its existence. Cognitive thinking skills suffer, the metabolic rate plummets, repair and regeneration come to a grinding halt, hormone production belly crawls, and all aging processes accelerate, chased by emotional imbalance and one’s grip on reasonable reality. The inability to sleep was a huge proponent in my decision to learn about the body. And since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I decided that every time I was awake, I would start learning about how the body actually worked. And over countless hours, days, and weeks, I did just that. I learned how the body and its systems worked, and eventually, I would fix mine.

In everything I did learn, and I will get into more of it shortly, learning to love and honor my body was possibly the most important part still. So, if you set a goal towards loving yourself, sleep will be an essential ingredient you include. There is a saying, “It was by the actions that I understood the intention.” If one intends to love oneself, one has to take actions equal to that goal. Providing your body with ample sleep sends a message to your body that you are lovingly caring for it. You honor the work it does by providing mobility and safe housing.

I know this is a fast-paced and demanding world we all live in. But sleep can not be replaced. Air is all around us. Food can be easily replaced with supplements, quick powders, or meal replacements. Water is abundant everywhere you go. But sleep deprivation will have its say in the end. And it can’t be packaged conveniently for easy “fix” replacement. I would love to go to Walmart and pick up a six-pack of “10-hour sleep” bottles and down them. (Think how much I could get done in a day!) But that is a pipe dream, all be it a lovely one.

To love yourself, you will have to do it the old-fashioned way. Lying flat for 6-10
hours a night is paramount for self-care. Men, the lucky ducks, are wired to need anywhere from 6-8 hours, generally speaking. Having a naturally higher metabolic rate than women, their bodies get more done in less sleep than the fairer of the sexes. Women need 8-10 hours of sleep. If a man gets less his mood and productivity may take a hit. Especially if sleep deprivation for several days. A woman’s need for sleep is not just longer but is directly connected to her body’s ability to balance her hormonal system. And that system runs her whole existence. It won’t just be her mood that will suffer. (Ladies, I will bring more understanding on this in your section.) It will be every function your body is performing, and the recovery is longer for us because of that.

Sleep deprivation, spread over a long period, isn’t good for anyone. So are you
serious about loving your body to the shape and size in your dreams? Then get serious about sleeping. I already know that your body will reward you for it.
Let’s talk about the Circadian Rhythm. The Circadian Rhythm is a biological
clock that operates in your brain. This internal clock operates on a 24-hour cycle and dictates many essential processes and functions the body routinely accomplishes. One of which is the sleep and wake cycles. The natural cycle of day and night set by the sun influences your circadian rhythm the most. Keeping a consistent routine that follows these natural sun rhythms will help to optimize deep and restorative sleep.

Your body’s endocrine (hormone-producing) system regulates most of its
actions by this rhythm throughout the day and night. Its job is to release the needed hormones at scheduled times to complement your body’s needs. Supporting functions such as wakefulness, digesting, nourishing where needed, producing energy, sleep, reproduction, and much more. The aspect that we will discuss here is the wake & sleep cycle. In the morning, light exposure releases serotonin. Serotonin is the hormone that wakes up your body and brain and gets you going. In the evening, when the sun is setting, Melatonin is released to help you prepare for restful sleep.

Insomnia—it should have been a four-letter word! It is definitely one of the most frustrating experiences. Insomnia is the inability to fall asleep quickly, reach deep sleep (REM), and stay asleep once sleep is achieved. It is unkind to every single function of your body. If you suffer from insomnia, understand that this is one of the main causes of the down-regulation of your body systems and will accelerate the aging process more than any single other thing. Thyroid and Adrenal health which we will get to soon have to be supported for quality sleep.

I do want to single out Sleep Apnea as it is a serious health risk. It is not
something to ignore. If you snore loudly, often wake yourself up, especially if you wake up gasping, or if your partner does – get help immediately. The stress put on your heart due to sleep apnea is life-threatening. If you question this, Google will give you pages of evidence. Go. Get. Help. Please!

The most important thing to do is set a regular routine. Decide on a bedtime and keep it. If you don’t fall asleep immediately, do not allow yourself to become irritated. Irritation alone will keep you awake. Do something positive, such as take the opportunity to learn to meditate. Prop up pillows, sit on the bed, and tackle the art of meditation or prayer. Most people, myself included, find that the focus of meditation will relax the mind enough to bring drowsiness. It is a great side effect! Then just go to sleep. Do not beat yourself up if you fall asleep while learning to meditate. Sleep was the goal!! And loving yourself means you don’t ” beat yourself up” anymore. Only loving thoughts from now on!

If you usually watch TV, browse the internet, or social media, don’t expect to fall asleep for at least 30 minutes once you turn it off. It takes approximately 30 minutes for the brain to respond to diminished light accepted into the eye for melatonin is released by the pineal gland. So recognize that there is nothing wrong with your body if you lay down and stare at your phone for an hour and you aren’t getting sleepy. Put the phone down, shut off the tv, laptop. Unplug from the world and love yourself to sleep.

Get up in 6-8 hours if you are a man and 8-10 hours if you are a lady. Start at the highest sleep period and adjust it until you find the amount of sleep that works best for you. I do not suggest sleeping for as long as you can. Unless you are sick, pregnant, have a health condition, or it’s Saturday or Sunday. It is a routine of consistency that will serve you the very best. Start with the long parameters and adjust them down if they are too much.

Men start with 8. If you have trouble falling asleep at 8, go to 7 or 7.5. Ladies
start with 10 and adjust down. Your body will show what is best. Listen to it and try to adhere to a regulated sleep and wake-up time. If you have trouble getting up put the phone in the bathroom where you actually have to get up to shut it off. Then do it! Get! Up! Have your clothes laid out in the bathroom, and turn on the shower before you shut off the alarm. Train your body to get in sync with the sun again. It will improve proper hormone production in only a few days. Do it tonight, and when you step in the shower in the morning, tell your body you love it enough to reset it!

If these practices do not assist you in finding good sleep patterns in a few days
there are some wonderful and natural herbs that can be very helpful. I developed parts of our Sleep Science during my earlier career as a horse trainer, which requires some sleep-deprived nights and very long days. Sometimes for days on end. So, knowing how to cure my inevitable bouts of insomnia was essential. And with more understanding of the Adrenal system and more herbs that will support it I refined it over the past few years.

These lists are just a few of the things that can be used to help you to get better sleep and why they help.

1) Melatonin. It is available as a supplement and can be found almost anywhere. It is a hormone naturally released by the body when the circadian rhythm is functioning well. During insomnia, it can be used in supplement form to help restore the body back to rhythm. I find it helps within 30-45 minutes of taking it.

2) L-Ornithine and L-Arginine and I actually take these regularly (for 25+ years)
because of its benefits. L-Ornithine is an amino acid that performs a few vital functions in the body. It is considered one of the “non-essential” amino acids to take because the body can produce it. It takes care of things in the body, such as clearing toxins from the brain, reducing cortisol levels, and turning ammonia into urea (which keeps you alive). It’s pretty important.

Cortisol is the hormone the body releases in response to stress. It keeps you awake at night, causing fretting and overthinking. I found that leading up to a major horse competition, even if everything was lining up perfectly, I would be unable to fall asleep. That is my mind responding to the overabundance of cortisol in my system due to stress. So my “8 hours in a bottle” solution is L-Ornithine! Meditation helps too as stated before but there are chemical responses in the body that if you understand you can assist in rebalancing.

3) Magnesium, Apigenin, and Theanine, which I learned about through a
podcast of Dr. Huberman, a neuroscientist. Magnesium L Threonate, or magnesium 3, is a mineral that is essential to the body. If you have “restless legs” or cramps, just get some. Your legs will appreciate it, and you will fall asleep more easily, too. Magnesium helps to quiet the nerves of the body that may be keeping you from drifting comfortably off to sleep.

L-theanine improves sleep quality by promoting relaxation and reducing stress and anxiety. It can be taken as a supplement or is found in many green teas. It lends to relaxation by reducing a person’s resting heart rate. It has also been shown to support the immune system, promote good blood pressure, and promote weight loss (bonus!).

Apigenin is a flavonoid from the plant kingdom. It binds to benzodiazepine
receptors in the brain and triggers muscle relaxation for restorative and deep sleep.

I also combine some adrenal herbs for relaxation, such as Barberry, Cinnamon,
Lemon Balm, Valerian Root, Blue Vervain, Skullcap, Lavender, Anise Seed, Nettle, and Shatavari. These and more can be found in our Sleep Science formula.

So, to wrap up sleep. Evaluate whether you are getting good quality, deep sleep.
If you are not dreaming, you are not. Dreaming is an indicator of not achieving REM sleep. If you cannot squeeze in more time for sleep at night, gift yourself some short naps. Even 5-30 minutes will greatly improve your body’s ability to care for you. Also, eat less heavy and complex foods on days you know will be short on sleep. Eat a salad instead of a steak simply because the body expends an absurd amount of energy and time on digestion. Eating lighter foods on those days will be very helpful. I will explain more about this in later chapters when we discuss digestion.