Stress – the all too familiar state of “being” for the average human living on planet earth. I would be remiss not to spend some time on this subject. And if you have set your goal of learning to love yourself we must look at all the ways that falling short can happen. I think you can agree if you have to make a living, raise children, have relationships, heck even going to the grocery store sometimes! – Life is challenging. 

Loving ourselves can’t be set aside when it’s inconvenient to work on. Stressful times are the most necessary time to be aware of how we are talking to and feeling about ourselves. As difficult as this new learning curve can be to manage, we have to give it our best effort. Why? Because we are worth it. I know I am worth it! I know You are worth it!

I don’t know of a way in our human existence to live completely without stress. And I would even suggest that some stress is going to be necessary. Having myself been an ornery and stubborn student in the “learning to love myself” lesson of life, stress was definitely part of what brought me to my knees. It “helped” me to get really, really sick. Had I not heeded the warning signs I would have experienced to a heart event or something of that nature.

On the flip side some stresses have very positive impact on our existence. Such as appropriate exercise for your heart. Growing a child with in the womb. Fasting for your health. Running successfully out of range of an ankle biting Chihuahua. The benefits of these examples of stress are easy to ascertain. They are forms of what I would call good “stressors”. Good stressors are necessary and are also often motivating, even inspiring.

When stress becomes “bad” for you is when the stress is mostly and continuously present in the mind. Ones that are being imagined in memories from the past or as negative future projections that have not occurred. If it is a memory it needs seen, felt fully and then let go of. If action is needed because of it then only focus on the action. Make a plan to take that action. Then let it go until the time that you can. 

Say you are up at 3 am obsessing over the memory and an action that is needed, but you can’t actually do it because it is 3 AM. STOP THE MADNESS!  My method is to ask my mind, “Can we do anything to change this (“unwanted” thing) this red hot minute? Have you come to any useful solution? No? Ok then how about kindly hush for now. Bother me with something useful. Please list things to be grateful for.” 

I started repeating that every time a useless, stress-creating thought pattern starts in my mind. It was a long enough set of sentences to pause my brain and sort of release the “bone” from my Rottweiler of a minds mouth. I strongly suggest to find a way to help you let go of old narratives that feed “familiar” negative loops. As we discussed earlier the brain loves what is familiar, and loves to repeat useless information. But it is your mind to use to your own advantage or disadvantage. Therefore, redirect it in ways that release stress and create what you prefer.   

Learning to retrain the mind is a life long task. So don’t beat yourself up if you find it difficult. You are not a special snowflake in this. We all have this challenge! I tell myself “Stop being a circle-back-girl. I don’t need to ‘circle back’ to this!” And laugh at myself. As I mentioned earlier, laughter and crying release resistance. Use them to change your emotional state.  

The real issue is where those scenarios is where they take your emotional state. In seconds, thinking turns into emotions that you are feeling. Once our emotions are involved, they initiate “stressful threat” mode, and the body amps up to takes up arms to defend you. These arms come in the form of hormonal chemicals to prepare you to fight or flee. (Good little body! Team player!) They rush into the bloodstream preparing you for war. They are adrenaline, cortisol and epinephrine. You most likely have heard of them. And they are amazing! These chemicals  are very necessary for your safety on the planet. The unfortunate health issues begin when there is no actual threat, when it was just your thoughts and imagination at play. But the body doesn’t know the threat is only in your mind. It is just responding to your emotional offering of stress.

 Let’s take a short look at what happens. The first responders are adrenaline and cortisol. Once released, the first order of business for them is to flood the system with glucose. And next to halt insulin production. This is so the glucose won’t be used but will be kept ready for the  “stress threat” so you can take flight or fight.   After the imagined threat passes, insulin will be released so that the glucose can be metabolized appropriately, and the body’s glucose levels will normalize. Great design. (When there is an actual threat.)

But the unfortunate thing that happens if you imagine this “threat” several times in succession or steadily for days, weeks, or months is that the pancreas will not be able to keep up with high demands for insulin. Glucose levels will remain very high, but the cells won’t be able to utilize the glucose without insulin. So now the cells are starving for energy to perform their many tasks. Since there doesn’t seem to be any that can be used, they tell the body, “I’m starving here!”  The hunger signal is triggered. 

Eating puts additional glucose into the system without sufficient insulin. All this present and unused glucose then gets stored as fat. But the cells are still starved, and you are tired. And you gain weight. Part two, the adrenal glands, which keep being hit up for cortisol, also become fatigued, and this just leaves you unbelievably drained. Depression often has its roots firmly planted here.

The third unfortunate event that has a definite impact on the body is that during the “stress threat,” blood flow is depleted to the gastrointestinal system. Food will stop moving or being absorbed. It will stay in the system for longer than is optimum. This causes a multitude of stomach and intestinal issues as the food will naturally start to putrefy. Constipation is the initial issue. Then it’s on to bloating as gases are released by the stagnant contents. Bad bacteria have a hay day in there, and the gut microbiome suffers tremendously.  Very soon, fluids are sent to the area to “flush” the threat out. And this is just one of many systems shut down by the imagined “threat.”

 An occasional “shutdown” is part of the beautiful design for your well-being and safety. If a Brown Bear is chasing you then the “shut down” allows full power to fight or flight. A necessary system for life-threatening situations. However, multiple shutdowns become a problem, especially over extended periods of time. This leads to many unwanted effects on the physical human. The list of grievances the body endures doesn’t end at, false hunger and sugar/starch food cravings and storing additional fat. Thats just the beginning. But soon to follow will be: 

• 1) fatigue – the cells are without fuel and exhausted now
• 2) Irritability-depression – as the cells starve, happiness will suffer
• 3) Headaches – from fluctuating blood sugar levels, the gastrointestinal track pauses, hydration into the blood stream suffers and all hormone productions are constantly turning on and off. 
• 4) Elevated Blood pressure – due to excessive release of adrenaline 
• 5) Low sex drive – Hormone production belly crawls during the bodies stress response – contributes to low sperm count, erectile dysfunction/painful and heavy periods, night sweats.
• 6) Muscle tension, pain, and slow recovery from exertion. 
• 7) Sleep – Cortisol utilizes the same receptors as melatonin, making it impossible for one to relax and fall asleep. 
• 8) The immune system weakens from constantly being put on pause while the “threat” is present. This leads to auto-immune and immune disfunction. 
• 9) High blood pressure from the constriction of the blood vessels and increased heart rate. Leads to vascular problems and heart failure. 

If you will love yourself, you will need to take an honest look at the stress level in your life. Your mind and body are the only ones you have and are here to serve you. Their whole existence is for you. Supporting and protecting you. Choose to love them; choose to love yourself. Get on the same team with them. I promise it’s worth it, and a beautiful body waits for you on that team.

Continue to Practical Stress Reduction for further guidance…