Into The Storm

How can we effectively love ourselves without considering our heart?   In the past chapters, we have discussed the mind’s generated thoughts and resulting energy. But did you know that Science has discovered that heart also has a “brain”? It does, and in fact, the energetic signature strength of your heart brain is actually 5000 times more powerful than that of the brain in your head! 

Interesting right? Knowing that more electric power is generated in your heart than in your brain, doesn’t it stand to reason that more of your power to create your life lies there? And that is not all! I would also point out that the heart’s brain has not only an electronic signature but also a magnetic signature.

So, like the brain in your head, it emits an electronic signal but then the heart does this magical thing and also emtis a  magnetic signature. And what do magnets do? They attract! So the heart also produces an “attractive” signal. And what does this mean? Well, it attracts back to itself the equivalant energy vibration. So the “feeling” produced sends out a signal and then magnetically attracts back to your 3D life experience the equivalence of that “feeling”. So the heart’s feelings are what is directing is the things that are showing up in your life as manifestations. That is the scientific way to say that what you give out, you also receive back. Essentially, science has proven that you were given the agency to create your own life experience.  You “reap what you sow”. 

So your life experience is determined by the quality of your thoughts in partnership with the response of your heart’s energies or your emotions. This is not a new concept, even though the scientific evidence is fairly recent. This is a quote that I love from the King James Version of the Bible: King Solomon of ancient Isreal, touted to be the wisest King to ever live, said this: “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Prov 4:23) And boy can we humans create some “issues” for ourselves can we not?

It is essential to realize just how hefty the role that your heart’s brain plays in the creating your life. It’s genuinely the most significant role due to its magnetically charged nature. Your emotions, indeed, are the road map your life follows. Attracting or mirroring back to us the equivalent of our most often-visited emotions. Bringing 3-D experiences that perfectly reflect those emotions back to us…repeatedly.

Many of us were not taught this as children. The scientific aspects of this information had not made it to “how to” parenting circles if you are my age. So, let us not have any undue negativity towards our early caretakers just yet. Most parents did the best they could. Not all, I realize, but most.

As children, when we felt and then acted out negative feelings, for which we very often were reprimanded. As a result, we learned to stuff, deny, and ignore our emotions. As a people pleaser, I took the “how to be perfect” route. I demonized my emotions, kept them to myself if they were not pretty, and made myself really sick (and chubby I might add) before I agreed to look at them. Not fun!

Unfortunately, we can not go back in time and tell anyone in charge of teaching us that validating our emotions was important. Now, I am not excusing or saying that tantrums are acceptable. Self-control must be learned. But it is much easier to learn to control yourself if you first learn that you are not inherently wrong for having a negative emotion. We needed to learn that emotions are ok to have and are healthy. And how to act on them positively, not negatively, as that is where healthy self-control is discovered. But most of us weren’t taught to also properly communicate our needs and release our emotional pain by way of it being validated and properly directed. No one understood that validation was the primary factor in ensuring that we would grow up to be well-functioning adults. So we must take the time now to “reparent” ourselves a bit. How?

First, we must feel. Just plain feel our emotions without running to work, food, drink, mood alterers, social media, phone games, tv, in order to hide, soothe, deny, ignore, etc our emotions. We must validate every emotion we are having as ok and as if it is a blessing. Because it very honestly is. Emotions are not wrong. They are messengers. They tell us when our healthy boundaries are being trampled on, especially by us.

Second, we have to take the time to feel them. All of them and fully. You can not release what you run from. Stop running! Because you darn sure can’t hide from yourself forever (tried that btw…doesn’t work, makes you sick…). So stop! Just stop! 

All body issues, especially a serious health crisis have their root in not feeling, understanding, validating, and acting in a healthy way towards your emotions. The more you have suppressed, the worse your body or you are feeling towards it, at this moment. But there is so much hope. The body responds incredibly fast to a changed mind and a happier heart. 

I am going to include a letter I addressed to a friend facing a bleak diagnosis. The letter was given with writing journal I gifted to this person to help in their healing journey. Please understand that this is a very long-standing and close friend. I make light of dire things in this letter because this person understands that type of communication. It had to be “lightish” despite the weight of the situation. I did not omit the “flavor” that is me in this letter for you. This is the raw and real me. I would ask that you attempt to temper any offense to the “flavor” shared between this person and I. I was authentically and unapologetically me for the effect it was to have for this person. (I will omit names and details for privacy reasons.)

“Dearest XXXXX,

Did you know that Bison (Buffalo), when a deadly blizzard looms before them will turn and move directly into the storm? The Bison instinctively know that the best chance of survival that they have is to go directly, and as quickly as they can, through the storm to reach the safety of the other side. Instinctively they face this threat to their life head-on. Not stopping because it is uncomfortable, not allowing distractions to kill their chances, they move, motivated in spite of their fear, purposely forward, trusting that safety is on the other side of the storm. A storm they do not even know the size of. Scary!

A lot of wisdom can be gleaned from this act that the Bison engages in. And respect, too, because it is not without its terror. Life has lessons, like blizzards, that it is using to teach us. Ones that you can’t “work out” logically in your mind (I know I tried) –  you can only feel your way through them. The biggest one is the lesson of loving yourself fully. There are more. Many more. And many of them will be learned on the way through this one – The “how do I love my authentic self” one. I have been through that blizzard. And yes, it is unpleasant and painful, and it feels a lot like being punched in the chest at times. But the peace on the other side is as promised; it surpasses understanding. We all get to face our blizzard. (I read somewhere once that if you don’t you could come back as a cricket! LOL) It is part of our evolutionary process as divine beings. The more and longer we run, the bigger and more deadly our storm becomes. 

(Subject jump btw) Did you know that your body is comprised of over 30 Trillion cells? And that each cell is made up of 10 trillion atoms? And that each atom is made up of 0.001 matter and 99.999% empty space. Additionally, approximately 80% of your cells are red blood cells. Your body replaces 250 million of those every day. In about 120 days, given proper nutrients, your body can receive an entirely upgraded red blood cell map. We have begun this with the herbs and superfoods that you are already consuming. You have already begun to speak to the improvements in how your body feels, your energy levels and stamina. The most indicative of the upgrade to your cells for me is that you say your feelings of anger have dissipated. That you feel more emotional balance. I have known you for 30 years. Anger is not who you are.

Additionally, on the subject of cells and atoms- In one year, you will have replaced every cell in your entire body, 80% of them 3 times over. This would be considered a Plutonian route to health. Plutonian means that for every action, there is an equal reaction. Essentially, using a Plutonian method, you are moving matter with matter towards healing. And you can accomplish health by using the 0.001% matter inside of each of your cells to recreate your physical body in a healthier way. I know that superior herbs and nutrition restored a vast part of my physical health. It wasn’t that long ago that I stood where you are. If you choose modern medicine to assist, it is also a part of the Plutonian route as well – utilizing the 0.001%.

But let’s come at healing from a little different angle:

1st. From the 99.999%.  According to quantum physics, that “empty” area of each cell is actually part of an energetic field that, while appearing to be empty space, actually contains vast amounts of information, immeasurable power, and is of “unknown” origin. Science refers to it as the “Unified Field”. I understand that part of us to be, the energy of our soul and connection with God. 

2nd. Did you know that your heart has its own transmission network like the brain does? And that it emits a signal that is energetically 400 times more powerful than the signal that your brain emits? And that its signal is also magnetic in nature? Magnetic means that the information emmited out also draws back the equivalent to itself. Now, these “signals” – we like to call them emotions – are generated in your heart and attract back to you the experiences of your life that equal the feelings you are generating. 

What if, even though you were aware that you are unhappy and not “at ease”, you do nothing to change it? What effect would that eventually have on the  99.999% of each of your 30 trillion cells & 300 trillion atoms? What if disease is simply the “dis-ease” energy that we have steeped the 99.999% of each cell in? And by “dis” – “ease” I mean exactly that. Not feeling good. Not feeling “at ease” in your heart about your life. But also not addressing these feelings either. Just fretting with them, stuffing them, denying them, demonizing them, and thereby forcing them to take up residence inside of your body. Not allowing them to be felt, understood, released, and acted upon in healthy ways. What if you are just holding them hostage in your 30 Trillion cells? 

I mean, just think about it. What are the consequences if you feed 99.999% of 30 trillion cells with negative energy? And for how long?  Days that turn into weeks, months, years, and then pretty soon decades have passed? (I’ve known you for 3 of them.) If you understand that gravity is a law and isn’t going to give you a pass when you jump from the bridge, then it stands to reason that neither will the law of attraction. (They are called laws for a reason.) Negative energy begets negative manifestation. You have lived long enough to know this. (And you are a smart one too!) Consider that with your logic and you know that the outcome is unfavorable.

Now you know I am a smart cookie – just like you. 😉 (Overachievers we are!) Believe me, if I could have outsmarted, outthought, or outmaneuvered my self-inflicted “dis-ease”, I would have!! I was not fearless when it came to my emotional blizzard either! NOT AT ALL! I was scared and resistant for a long and painful while! I didn’t want to take a look at what I was suppressing. My ego hid not loving myself in hours, upon hours, upon hours of “productivity” and service to others. But having weathered my storm I can confidently say that today I am fearless. I not only own my emotions but I can express them confidently. (If and when I fing feel like it!)  I no longer need anyone else’s approval to feel what I feel. I own what I feel. And it feels so good! There is no more vacillation inside of me because my mind and my heart work together. Not opposing forces at war inside of me.  I am not afraid of emotional pain when I sense it on the horizon. Now I am like; “OHHHH A STORM??!!! Yippee!!!! Some wisdom to learn there is” (Yoda impersonation).

So what do I suggest you do with all this information? Welllll, seeing as your XXXXXX is in your throat and is governed by the energy center located there, I would address the energetic blockage there first. And what does the Energy Center of the Throat govern? (More information about Energy Centers latter.) Honest communication, as felt by the heart. And who do you communicate with? Well, as you know, I was a pretty close reflection of you in terms of smalllll inner circle, keeping my cards to my chest, and my truths to myself – just like you. When I finally faced my Blizzard this is one of the things that worked for me: 

I talked to God. Actually, I just cried to Him first. Like sooo much. Wow, I had stuffed some heavy tears. And that let out so much pain that I had held onto. I thought that I was being “strong” for everyone around me. But actually, I really was just lying to myself, in the same way you have been, that I was happy enough. That I was as happy as I deserved to be. (I still remember the day you asked me if you deserved to be happy btw.) 

So I suggest turning into your storm and telling it all to God. You can’t tell him anything that He doesn’t already know. Tell Him your bottled-up truths. Tell Him how unfair people are, your hidden pain, your self-sabotaging lies, and your outright disregard for your own feelings, and how angry you are at yourself for not respecting yourself more. Tell Him how you have discounted your needs, ignored your emotions, and squashed your emotional desires. Labeled them as bad and stuffed them down inside of you. Tell Him how you have beat yourself up for every small imperfection. Tell Him how little compassion you have shown to yourself. How you have let everyone else off the “hook of perfection” with a pass, still loving them, while you hung yourself from it. Tell Him every single thing that comes up as an uncomfortable emotion in your heart. Tell Him all of it, no matter how small or petty it might seem. 

I found (still find) “Scribbling” to be one of the most helpful ways to tell Him. I call it scribbling because I use no formal form for writing. I literally don’t even use complete sentences, words, or thoughts, for that matter. I write as fast as the thoughts and emotions surface. Skipping letters, words, punctuation, etc. Writing did one beautiful thing for me. It focused my mind enough that it quit going off on tangents. With my hands busy, it kept me fully present and semi-focused on the paper. I didn’t try to make any of it make sense. My goal was only to get it out of me. (I literally can not read what I wrote, it really is just chicken scratch.)

Doing it this way allowed me to dig up the deeply hidden pains and underlying feelings (which is the entire goal btw) I had that propelled my self-sabotaging and unloving patterns. And they are patterns. Patterns that I (smartie pants that I was even then) adopted during childhood in order to be seen as worthy and deserving of love. The ones that were lies. It is a lie that I was not worthy. It is a lie that you tell yourself as well. We are part of the “Unified Feild” of God. 99.999% of each of us is. And as such, we are so very, very worthy.  To think anyone is unworthy is a lie that can not stand in the Universe. (More Laws and all) We are one with the “field” or energy of God. And as such, our worthiness has only to do with this Universal truth. And absolutely nothing to do with anything we have done, or can do. So situations like this one, this XXXXX, come to fruition in our lives and force us to face our lies.

Do you have to face them? Well no. And can you survive this without facing them? Well yes. How? Simply by believing you can. I have already talked a lot about the fact that you are your own placebo. Your belief in your ability to live through this will be the largest determining factor. (Please ask for God’s help; He can’t help you unless you ask. Laws and all. I know I’ve said that before, but it seems worth saying again.)  

And what will happen if you do not face them during this “Blizzard”? Well, the Universe, when it has a Law to uphold is like a Rottweiler with a bone. So! Get ready for more “blizzards” coming in in response if you choose to stuff your truth down and not love yourself some more. Is it worth doing the work? I promise you! On the other side of the “Blizzard” is peace — so much peace— self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love. When they talk about the “peace that passes understanding” they are not wrong. It truly does. And man, is that feeling worth braving your blizzard for!! You don’t know what you are missing 😉  

SO! Take the 99.999% you have control of with your emotions by the f*cking horns and f***ing kick this B$ to the curb where it belongs! I know you are smart enough to follow all of this. I know you are strong enough to see it through. Look around you at the absolute Empire of a business you have built. The massive following of people you have given your best to. The incredible impact you have had during your career. The beautiful young adults that you have raised. You are an absolute warrior! I am so proud of who you are and how smart you are. You know this. And I know that you know that you can do this. 

So please pick up the pen and journal I provided and get started. No excuses. If this were business, you would not give yourself a pass. Take the skills, dedication, and talents that brought you all of your successes and apply them to your heart. You do know how to be the best version of yourself in business and for others. Now, do it for yourself. Be strong. Only you can do it. No one can do it for you. Be the Bison that I know in your enormous heart you are. Face your storm. 

And besides, I refuse to accept you giving up. I am pushing back on that idea one more time. No! I love you. I want you to stay. I am here when you need me.” 

I realize you may not have a life-threatening situation such as I faced, nor the person to whom the letter was addressed. However, wanting to change even just your weight and harboring unkind thoughts that produce intense negative emotions are a precursor of disease. My advice is not to wait until you have developed a sickness that is devastating to your quality of life before you begin to feed your 99+% with more self-loving thoughts, emotions, and energy.

I described “Scribbling” above as one way in which I was able to decrease unloving thoughts being pushed up from the pain inside of me. Painful emotions that we stuff stay there until we agree to feel them. (Scary, huh?) They have information that they need to give us about our life and our choices. They are relentless, as is their job, resurfacing again and again until they have their moment. 

Scribbling is my favorite modality for releasing stuck emotions. It is very simple. Just get a pen and paper when an uncomfortable emotion comes up and start scribbling. I try to stay with the way I feel more than the reason for it. I do not limit the feeling to one emotion. I allow them to flow. I do not use any punctuation, complete thoughts, words, or sentences. It is wonderfully freeing and keeps me focused on the point, which is to work through the emotion. This is a modality in the healing journey that I strongly suggest trying. 

One thing that I would point out is that the ego will try to take you off on tangents the moment it thinks that you might take a look at any uncomfortable emotion. Why? Well, the ego’s job is to move you away from pain and towards pleasure. It does this to keep you safe and ultimately alive. And this is a beautiful thing a lot of the time. It will keep you from harm. But when it comes to emotion, it is not so helpful. An emotion’s job is to teach you. And the ego would like you to ignore it because the emotion doesn’t feel “pleasant.” The ego is a fragile sissy when it comes to painful emotions, so it is insistent in stuffing them, ignoring them, distracting you from them, etc. If you have the thought – “this is an uncomfortable emotion, I think I will try scribbling.” Get ready to observe how fast the ego (little voice in your mind) reminds you of 3 zillion things you “should” be doing, or would rather be doing instead. 

When I first started, it took me a while to realize that my ego was blocking me. I would have the thought, “I’m going to go sit with this icky emotion.” And my ego would say, “You need to finish this task first. Don’t be irresponsible. It’ll only take 10 minutes.” And so I would finish, go and get some paper and a pen and sit…………………….and to my astonishment, the emotion had disappeared completely. The ego is a tricky little devil!!! So be ready. It is pretty entertaining once you see how relentlessly sly your ego will be in trying to derail you.

Once you get started, though, it will become easy to silence the ego in your head. The heart is sufficiently more powerful, and once you begin to give it a voice, you will begin to utilize the power there that you were unaware you possessed. A really, really incredible and empowering experience, I promise you. You have no idea what power you have been suppressing until you unleash the power of your heart. Get ready!